The Estate Sale Basics:
I will Start With PLEASE
This House is Full of Pre-Owned Merchandise. Caveat Emptor. All Sales Final!
- Discounts Set Throughout The Weekend-We Don’t Tell You in Advance…
- Expect Items Here & There to Lack Price Tags. Do Not Berate the Estate Seller For This Imperfection… (Not Intentional, Just An Overlooked Item, An Item Recently Dug Out of the Dregs of the Sale, or the Tags Have Been Removed By “Dust Mite Fairies”…) Just Ask The Sales Associate On The Floor !
- We Are Not Perfect. Expectation of Perfection Will Result in Disappointment & Quibbling. We Hate Quibbling and It Makes for A Grumpy Cashier!
- You Might Have to Wait Your Turn. Please Be Reasonable. Do Not Push or Shout or Demand…
- If you Don’t Get the Deal You Want Today, Please Come Back Tomorrow!
We Work For Our Client. We Are Here To Sell You The Goods Contained In This House At The Highest Possible Price. That Changes Often. That Is How We Make A Living And Our Client Expects It.
- We Are a Small Business Employing Otherwise Unemployed Individuals In A Tricky Economy. We Are Doing Good Things With Good People And Giving You Excellent Deals By Doing So!
- LOOK UP! WATCH YOUR STEP…Proceed At Your Own Risk! We Are Not Responsible For Risky, Moves Or Accidents. Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction: You Move Something It Will Have an Effect on Something Else, Dust Mites, Falling Objects, Etc.
- Being Nice to The Cashier Is Appreciated. Please Help Us Make This a Positive Sale…Pay With Small Bills, Please, Credit Cards Accepted With a $3 Fee, OR 3% of Total.
- Bring Bags And Boxes. We Rarely Have Enough.
- If You’re An Expert In Something…We Need to Learn About It, If We Have The Time… If We’re Busy, We Can’t Always Listen…
- Haggling Is Expected, But is Distinct From Quibbling… We Want to Make the Best Deal Possible For Both Sides of The Negotiation.
- Stealing Is Wrong, Stupid, Selfish and Sociopathic and Doing So Shows Very Poor Judgment. You Will Be Found And Fed to the Other Estate Sale Attendees!
Thank You For your Understanding and Your Business! Laurie and the EstateMAX team
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